“Twitter, but everyone is nude” – Elon Musk continues to innovate

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Elon Musk has continued to shake up Twitter since he acquired it last week. He will introduce a new subscription service to the platform that will be identical to normal Twitter, but everyone will be naked.

“It’s going to be awesome. No one will be wearing any clothes at all. Men and ladies. It’ll be like a sexy Twitter. Everyone you follow, repost, like, or interact with at all on any level will have their actual bits out.

“It’s certainly where I’ll be spending all my time on Twitter so, ladies? Join me. It’s only $4.99, and it’ll be the sexiest social media platform since that weird last few months of Friends Reunited.”

Social Media experts were on the fence about the idea.

“I think, on balance, having a social media platform on which everyone is always naked is probably a good way to go,” said Simon Williams, who is a leading expert in people dicking about on their phones.

“But there are issues. What about people who use Twitter on the train or in the park? I think Mr Musk is going to have to reach out to governments and have some discussions about their public decency laws.”

So far, the anti-Europe think tank The Bruges group, veteran broadcaster Larry King and indie band Pavement have all signed up for the new service and Hilary Clinton is said to be considering it.