John Lewis has launched its new Christmas advert with the heart-warming message that middle-aged men need safer hobbies.
The retailer is already planning the 2023 sequel, in which the male protagonist will ask authorities for a foster child with hobbies more aligned with his physical capabilities.
Advertising executive Simon Williams told us, “Next year we’ll have him asking for a child that enjoys Lego, or maybe jigsaws. A child who enjoys nothing more than hours on end sat down doing something that is in no way dangerous, like colouring in, rather than an activity that could see a grown adult having to take time off work with an entirely avoidable injury.
“If we can get another high-profile sponsor on board we might even have them playing a console game, who knows?”
Now for something else: Every Christmas, thousands of children in poverty and care will see very little joy during the festive period. We commend John Lewis for highlighting this fact – and even cynical sods like us would like to try and help change that for the better. Reading Family Aid is a non-profit we’ve supported in the past, and they do amazing work collecting toys and gifts to give to children who might otherwise have nothing to open on Christmas morning. They are busy collecting now, and you can make a donation, however small, safe in the knowledge it will go towards a gift for a child on Christmas morning who would otherwise have very little, if anything, to open. Please donate what you can here.