Right-wing Christians remind everyone of little-known Bible story where Jesus told refugees to ‘sod off back where you came from’

author avatar by 1 year ago
NewsThump Needs Your Help

Good Christian right-wingers are today reminding everyone of the little-known Bible story in which Jesus turned back refugees because they were arriving with the expectation of a handout.

The bible story, known in many conservative bible study groups as ‘Jesus and the scrounging illegals’, is seen by many as a parable for the way we should treat those in need when they come looking with empty hands.

As Simon Williams, a member of the Christians United as Neighbourly Tories told us, “Sure, the Bible has plenty of stuff about Jesus helping the poor, and people in need, and people who are suffering, but it’s also important to recognise that he did not like a scrounger.

“In the tale of the scrounging illegals, Jesus himself stops the refugees coming into town after stopping one of them who is wearing Adidas trainers and using an iPhone.

“That’s because Jesus knew when someone was taking the piss, and so he turned them around and sent them packing.  And if it’s good enough for the Son of God, then it’s good enough for me.

NewsThump Hoodies

“We have to stop the UK being a soft touch to illegal immigrants, and the Bible shows us the way.”

When it was pointed out to Williams that France actually processes almost four times as many asylum claims as the UK, and that asylum-seekers get better benefits in France than they do here, he insisted it “wasn’t enough”.

He went on, “I don’t care if other countries are doing much more than we are to help asylum seekers, I care that we are doing anything at all.

“It’s time we listened to the lessons of the Bible and acted like good Christians, by sending them all back.”