‘Focus on the football’ insists governing body focussing entirely on the money

author avatar by 1 year ago

Fifa has asked all competing nations at this year’s World Cup to ‘focus on the football’ as they focus entirely on all that lovely Qatari money whilst not giving a shit about anything else. 

In a letter sent to all 32 nations competing in Qatar, Fifa president Gianni Infantino has politely requested that teams ignore all the annoying human rights stuff and just focus on the football, before counting all the billions they will make in return for agreeing to host it there. 

A spokesperson from Fifa confirmed, “Football is the most important thing here, and that should be the sole focus in the tournament, oh that and all the lovely money, obviously.

“That’s why we are having a World Cup right in the middle of the domestic season, in a literal desert, in a nation that didn’t have a single football stadium when they bid for the tournament.

“Where teams will be playing in scorching heat, in a nation where homosexuality is illegal, and where countless people died whilst building the infrastructure in hazardous and probably illegal conditions just so we could host it there and everyone involved could make millions of dollars.

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“But other than that, it’s all about the football, definitely, and that’s all that the teams should talk about.”

Asked if anyone from Fifa has benefitted financially from a very large payout as a result of the tournament being held in winter in Qatar, we were told to “focus on the football”.