‘You can’t remove Bounty bars from Celebrations boxes’ insists solitary weirdo who actually likes them

author avatar by 2 years ago

A sick weirdo who actually enjoys eating Bounty bars has insisted that they shouldn’t be removed from boxes of Celebrations. 

With news emerging earlier that the coconut-based chocolate thing that everyone leaves in the tub is to be removed from selected tubs of Celebrations, oddball Simon Williams who actually chooses to eat them has insisted that they should be left in because he is clearly disgusting. 

Speaking earlier he fumed, “I love Bounty bars! Because I am clearly some sort of sick lunatic with the tastebuds of feral carrion-eating scavenger.

“I heard earlier that they were thinking of removing Bounty bars from tubs of Celebrations and I just couldn’t believe it, because I really enjoy eating the disgusting coconut thing wrapped in chocolate – instead of one of the nice ones that I leave for everyone else.

“Obviously I have no sense of taste, and clearly have something wrong with me, as I also like eating a full Bounty bar from the shop as a genuine treat.”

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“I think I even like them more than a Galaxy Ripple or a Flake, because I have no idea about anything and probably need to be seen by a doctor.

“I just hope they don’t remove my second favourite one too as that would really ruin Christmas.”

Asked what his second favourite chocolate on the market is we were told, “Milky Way, obviously. Yum.”

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