Just because the terrorist who firebombed an asylum centre agreed with us, doesn’t make us the bad guys, insists Turning Point UK

author avatar by 1 year ago

After the identity of the terrorist who firebombed the asylum processing centre in Dover revealed he shared social media content by Turning Point UK, the group has insisted that just because literal suicide bombers agree with you and share your content, doesn’t make you the ‘bad guys’.

A spokesperson for the group told us, “We claim to be for free markets, limited government and personal responsibility – but, let’s be honest here, those beliefs don’t really resonate with the ill-informed imbecile demographic we’re trying to cultivate – which is why we often resort to racist dog-whistles and anti-trans memes, because that’s what the low-information morons really like.

“You can’t radicalise simpletons if you can’t get them to read what you write. Racists aren’t interested in the size of the civil service, so we have to pretend immigrants are to blame for all the bad things, and then – wham – you’ve got yourself another follower. It’s pretty easy to be honest.

“Yes, I know if you browse down our social media feeds you’ll simply find lots of anti-immigrant, anti-trans, anti-left rhetoric, rather than anything in support of our beliefs, but there is a reason for that. It’s because someone went into Downing Street two months ago and did all the things we really like and the country turned into a complete shit-show overnight, so we’re laying off all that ‘free market small government’ stuff for now – until people forget about it all going so horribly wrong. We are simply going to stick to what works best in whipping up our base of angry halfwits.

“The fact that a literal suicide bomber shared our lovingly curated content in a clear and obvious sign that he agrees with our positions, doesn’t mean we agree with him.

“Sure, on the subject of asylum seekers our beliefs align pretty closely indeed, but we certainly wouldn’t throw a firebomb at a migrant processing centre.

“We’d much prefer someone else did it.”