Rishi Sunak has said he was totally unaware that Boris Johnson was planning to go to COP27, and this absolutely had no influence on his own recent U-turn on attending.
“Really, Boris is going is he? To the climate summit? Next week? To represent the UK? I had no idea,” said Sunak, putting on his best incredulous expression, just minutes after announcing that he would now be going to the climate summit, next week, to represent the UK.
“I had a busy set of domestic commitments next week, but the climate agenda is obviously really important to me,” continued Sunak.
“So important that I’ve only decided to go to it a few days before it starts, like I’m going on some kind of last-minute bloody mini-break with the missus.
“It’s definitely nothing to do with the fact that that mop-haired buffoon is planning to be there to steal my thunder whilst simultaneously making a dick of himself,” said Sunak with his fingers crossed behind his back.
Boris Johnson himself has said he is looking forward to attending as a serious statesman for the UK and has asked for a briefing on the mysterious Sheikh Al-Sharm who he understands is hosting the event.