‘Moderate’ Just Stop Oil protest of throwing soup on Dartford Crossing fails to make impact

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There was disappointment on the moderate wing of the Just Stop Oil protest group after their protest of throwing soup on the Dartford Crossing failed to make an impact.

“It’s a shame, it really is,” said Simon Williams a climate campaigner who doesn’t really want to inconvenience anyone.

“I used some really nice soup, M&S, and it was Friday afternoon, which is a really busy day on the bridge.

“I waited for the media in the Starbucks at Thurrock for over an hour to explain that I really didn’t like oil and that, but none of them turned up. Perhaps they thought I meant the one in the precinct not the one at the services?”

Mr Williams would prefer humanity to use less oil, what with all the environmental unpleasantness that comes with the entire industry, but would hate to make people late for work, or ruin a family’s trip to the gallery.

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“I thought this was a nice compromise,” he explained.

“My mum drove me over the bridge in her Tesla, I opened the window and poured soup all over the road. It was very dramatic – and the soup mixing with the splashes of oil on the road? Well, that really presented a powerful metaphor for the impact of oil on nature.”

Despite no one noticing his protest, Mr Williams remains undeterred and has plans to protest again next week by rubbing mashed potato onto the road outside the Humber Oil Refinery.

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