Elon Musk announces end of Twitter bots, introduces self-driving Twitter accounts

author avatar by 1 month ago

New Twitter owner Elon Must has today announced the end of Twitter bots, while introducing the innovative new concept of self-driving Twitter accounts.

Just hours after taking over at the oft-criticised social media platform, Musk set about putting his stamp on the place.

“Twitter bots are gone. Kaput.” Musk told his millions of Twitter followers.

“No longer will robots be able to post Tweets and fill your timeline with spam and pernicious nonsense designed to manipulate public sentiment on any number of divisive issues. Those days are over as of now.

“Instead, we will have self-driving Twitter accounts, based on innovative Tesla technology, that will allow users to sit back and enjoy browsing Twitter while our AI takes care of posting all of your definitely-correct opinions on any number of divisive issues.”

When asked if what he’s actually doing is making an existing technology sound innovative by giving it a sexy-sounding name, Musk was defiant.

He went on, “Absolutely not, it’s very different, as I’m sure you will see. One of them of them is just other people trying to exploit Twitter for financial benefit, the other is me doing it.

“And advertisers, rest assured I have no intention of letting this place turn into a right-wing hellscape of misinformation and hate speech. I might be controversial, but I’m not an idiot, and I have no intention of spunking $44bn up the wall.”