Vatican has a corporate membership to OnlyFans, claims Pope

author avatar by 2 years ago

The Vatican has a corporate account for online smut provider OnlyFans, ensuring all employees can access unlimited wank-fodder at all hours of the day and night.

After revealing that even Nuns enjoy a bit of light-fingered relief every now and again, the Pope said that a corporate membership was the best way to save money.

“We could have had all of our employees signing up for individual accounts for individual OnlyFans broadcasters – but that would have been millions of Euros of necessary spending.

“So we did a deal, and now anyone with a Vatican email can access everything on that platform. It doesn’t matter what your kink is, you’ll find it on there.

“Sister Mary apparently really enjoys furries stuff – each to their own. As long as she tells her priest during confession then it’s fine.

“Just don’t give that particular confession to Father Padraig, because if his browser history is anything to on, he might enjoy it a bit too much.”

Meanwhile, non-Catholics have welcomed the Vatican’s move into the online equivalent of jazz mags, insisting, “It’s probably better they play with themselves after hours in a darkened room than on a Sunday afternoon with the altar boys.”