Downing Street officially declared a Guernsey fishing boat after Rishi Sunak’s accountant had a word

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Denying accusations of being part of the ultra-rich that pays nearly no tax, the government explained that for the sake of efficiency, Downing Street will now have the same administrative status as a loss-making enterprise registered to a post box in the Channel Islands.

A spokesperson for Mr Sunak explained that all new PMs got to add their personal touch to Nr 10 and while some focused on sofas and wallpaper, others want all salaries to be paid as per diem fees through a Swiss financial consultancy firm with no online presence. 

He went on, “We know that many people accuse the PM of being part of an ultra-rich international set who show no end of imagination in their tax avoidance schemes, but the truth could not be further. Rishi is like every other average Brit who claims his swimming pool belongs to a charity based in Monaco.

“He wants to get on with the job of stabilising the nation’s finances, and all he needs to do it is for the switchboard operators to answer any call from HMRC with a smattering of Guernésiais words and a convincing story about the crab pots being empty. Perfectly normal things that have nothing to do with tax avoidance.”

As part of the new changes, police officers have been instructed to accept any packages addressed to the London offices of Dishirishi Investments Grand Cayman as well as any mail for a Panamian law firm owned by a certain Senor Ricci Sunaco.

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Additionally, Larry the Cat has been entered as a competitor in the Grand National.