Users worried Boris 2.0 permanently corrupted

author avatar by 2 years ago

Users of the newly released Boris 2.0 operating system have faced a string of error messages this morning, with many indicating that the troubled hardware appears to have thankfully already had its day.

Those attempting to use the system have encountered a string of error messages including ‘path_(to victory)_not_found’, ‘access_(to Number 10)_denied’, and ‘You_are_a_total_joke’. 

“I tried to boot up Boris 2.0 over the weekend, but despite my best efforts I just couldn’t get it going,” said one user, Nadhim Zahawi, “It made all the right noises as it booted up, but then just went kaput.”

“Boris 1.0 was bad enough,” said Simon Williams, an expert at PC Today.

“It was plagued by poor performance since 2019, with hundreds of known corruptions and vulnerabilities.

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“The Truss patch released in September actually made things worse, which none of us thought was possible.” 

Williams went on, “A few fringe developers in the industry seriously thought that Boris 2.0 offered a long-term fix to its performance issues. But there is no Safe Mode, just Lunatic Mode. A Total System Restore back a to a more stable version from several years ago is the only solution here.

“Though to be honest, all of these modern Tory Operating Systems are now prone to sudden and unexpected catastrophic failure. When users try and log in on, many of them just see the Blue Screen of Death – or the Tory Party logo as it’s more commonly known.”

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