‘Great day for democracy’ as man who lost vote to become prime minister becomes prime minister

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The United Kingdom is celebrating a great victory for democracy as a man who lost the only vote he’s ever faced to become prime minister, will become the nation’s next prime minister.

Rishi Sunak, who, in a vote by the 0.2% of the country that is the most predisposed to liking him, still lost to Liz sodding Truss, will now occupy 10 Downing Street – potentially for years.

Tory member Derek Williams told us, “Rishi is definitely the right man to lead the Tories, given that myself and the other Conservative party members explicitly rejected him a little over a month ago.

“We wanted Liz Truss, but look how that turned out. It’s probably best you didn’t get to ask us again.”

“There is no better mandate to lead the country than an explicit rejection by the very people who should support you most.

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“I wish him well, obviously, but I will be the first to point out I didn’t want him the very moment things start going wrong. As they inevitably will.”