A man who was forced to resign in total disgrace from his position as CEO of a major corporation just three months ago has written a magnanimous letter to the company outlining why he has decided not to apply for the position again.
Simon Chalfort-Williams was removed from his job as Head of international advertising agency Shaftem and Spaff back in July, following a litany of scandals and serial incompetence with nearly sixty of his co-workers resigning from their own jobs in order to force him to go.
“I saw my old job come up again on LinkedIn, and out of courtesy, I’m letting you know I won’t be putting in an application. Even though I’m clearly the best person for the job, and would definitely get it if I applied,” wrote Williams.
“I am confident I could not only do the job, but that I could do it so well we would once again become the number one advertising agency again – even though we fell way behind the competition during my previous time in the role.
“I know I could do this job with both hands tied behind my back – indeed, if the ongoing internal investigation into my previous behaviour finds me guilty, then I could have had to do the job handcuffed,” continued Williams.
“So as I drop out of the running for my old job, that I would definitely get and be brilliant at, I wish whoever does take on the job the very best in clearing up my mess, even though I could definitely clear up my own mess with my eyes closed.”