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The UK economy is set for its biggest quarter in almost two years, after Carrie Johnson was spotted shopping for wallpaper, providing a huge boost to the ailing retail sector.
The UK economy is set to achieve double-digit growth in Q4 after Carrie Johnson was spotted shopping for wallpaper for a ‘mystery new flat’ that she and her husband Boris will be moving into in the coming days.
With comedy Prime Minister Liz Truss resigning from office yesterday, reports have emerged this morning that Carrie Johnson has been spotted buying wallpaper for a “renovation project” at a city centre property that she may or may not be moving back into very soon, news that has sent financial markets wild.
Wallpaper salesman, Simon Williams, who served Mrs Johnson confirmed, “She didn’t even need to take any measurements as she already had them written down.
“Obviously I cannot give out any personal information here, but we had a certain former Prime Minister in the shop earlier with his missus and they were looking at VERY expensive wallpaper.
“Apparently a new flat that they are moving into “needs some work”, as the current occupant has left everything in a right state, or something.
“I overheard the lady saying she wanted the most expensive wallpaper we had, because the public will be paying, and it has to be wipeable material as it will end up covered in wine.”
Asked to comment on the news, financial analyst Hayley Rice told us “This will do wonders for our economy. People said the British economy would struggle after Brexit, but all we really needed was for Carrie Johnson to move house every six months.”
