Scriptwriters threaten to bring all dead characters back if Boris stands again

author avatar by 2 years ago

Scriptwriters have said they will bring back every single character killed off in soaps and TV dramas if Boris Johnson officially puts his hat in the ring to lead the Tories again. 

“Seriously, if Bojo says he’s standing for PM then all bets are off,” said TV producer Simon Williams.

“It’s a signal that literally even the most ridiculous of storyline is plausible.

“Richard Hillman, Arthur Fowler, Grandad from Only Fools and Horses, Victor Meldrew, Dot Cotton from Line of Duty. They’ll ALL be back on your screens next week,” listed Williams.  

“And everyone who has just been killed off in Emmerdale. They’ll be back happily supping in the Woolpack next Friday. Danny Kendall in Grange Hill. Oh and Petra the dog from Blue Peter. Killed off way before her time.”

NewsThump Hoodies

“Films too. Dumbledore, he’ll definitely reappear,” continued Williams.

“Jack Dawson in Titanic. Everyone who gets culled in Rambo First Blood. And the guy Bruce Willis plays in the Sixth Sense will be revealed to have been alive all along.

“We’ll have to think how that one would work, but after the events of this week it seems like we’re all happy suspending reality for the foreseeable future, right?”