Liz Truss returns as Prime Minister following U-Turn

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Liz Truss is back in Number Ten already following a trademark U-Turn.

The Prime Minister, who can spend up to an hour on most roundabouts, has once again changed her mind and will resume her duties effective immediately.

“We’d just finished packing the bloody van,” grumbled Simon Williams of Ministerial Removals, carrying a sofa back into Number Ten.

“Then she suddenly goes, “‘Yeah, nah, I’m staying, put everything back, I’ll be in the bath’ and walks off.

“I’ve met see-saws who were more decisive, probably better at politics too.”

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Liz Truss declared, “I realised on the way out of the Downing Street security gate that there is still a job to do, and I am the one tasked with doing it.

“Sometimes the bravest thing one can do is to realise one was wrong, and to put it right. I was wrong to resign, so now I am un-resigning.

“Can someone please pry Boris Johnson’s hands from my desk and stop him from crying?”