King Charles genuinely looking forward to weekly briefings with a lettuce

author avatar by 11 months ago

King Charles is said to be excited at the prospect of talking to a lettuce every week after hearing Liz Truss was defeated by one.

Charles, who has spent more of his adult life than is probably healthy conversing with various plant life, has told royal aides that he expects the iceberg lettuce to provide far more rivetting conversation than Liz Truss.

A Palace spokesperson told us, “Yes, his royal highness is extremely excited. The opportunity to combine his constitutional duty with his passion for lengthy chats with plant life? It’s a win-win.

“If he had his way he’d spend his days waxing lyrical with the contents of the nearest greenhouse, so a crisp iceberg lettuce will do just fine.

“To be honest, it’s the first bit of good news he’s had in weeks, though he was mightily relieved when Truss resigned, a few weeks with her and he was already considering passing the baton on to William.

“He is a little concerned about Boris putting his name in the hat again, but if Boris ends up being prime minister once more we’ll simply have him spend their weekly briefings sat behind a large potted plant.”