Tory heavyweight, Rehman Chisti, sensing a political sea change in the Tory party, has, once again, assembled his crack campaign team in preparation for another tilt at the party leadership.
“I have quite a keen political mind,” said the young Rainham MP, “So I’ve noticed that there is a little disquiet bubbling under the surface of the Tory party at the moment. Could this lead to another leadership campaign? I really think it might, and if it does then I firmly believe that this time, it’s Chisti time!”
Chisti’s team met last night in the campaign HQ in Chisti’s shed. The team is comprised of his neighbour Tony, who loaned Chisti his iPhone Pro Max to make his previous campaign video, his friend Shyam, who’s watched every episode of The West Wing, and the family dog, Nelson.
Chishti went on, “I learnt a lot from my first run at the leadership. Make sure party colleagues know who you are, try and stop the phone you’re filming your campaign video from falling over, make enough sandwiches – that sort of thing.
“But, it’s not just my experience of running a leadership campaign that really stands me in good stead this time, it’s that I have one key advantage. I’m not Liz Truss.”
Colleagues seemed warm towards the prospect of Chisti running again.
“Rehman Chisti,” said one, “Yeah, why not, it’s not like he’s going to be any worse than this clown show.”