The allegedly functional democracy, the United Kingdom, is all set to address the democratic deficit caused by appointing a prime minister elected by just 0.01% of the electorate, by appointing one voted for by precisely zero members of the electorate.
As Liz Truss resigned just a month into her tenure as the Prime Minister, the parliamentary Tory party is set to announce who will run the country without the unnecessary hassle of letting the voters have a say.
Backbench MP Simon Williams told us, “If there is one thing that has been proven in recent times, it’s that Tory MPs know what’s best for the country. So I believe it’s perfectly fine that we should choose the next prime minister without letting the voting public get involved.
“Honestly, even letting the Conservative party members have a say was going a bit far – much better we keep this in-house amongst ourselves, and decide who should be our nation’s next leader.”
When asked if there should be a general election, Williams was defiant.
He went on, “Of course not. What a ridiculous suggestion. If we let the people vote, then they will undoubtedly punish us for ballsing up so spectacularly, and how does that benefit me personally? God no. Awful idea.
“No, it’s much better we recognise it’s in the best interests of Tory MPs across all the benches to get behind whichever PM we choose this time, and then stand defiantly in the face of all calls for a general election.
“After all, if history has taught us anything, it’s that ignoring the electorate always ends well.”