“Fighter” Liz Truss outlasted by lettuce, lettuce to become PM

author avatar by 2 years ago

That lettuce the Daily Star put on a live stream AS A JOKE has, in fact, outlasted Liz Truss, and will now assume office as Prime Minister.

The popular green salad item has happily been in the public eye on a 24/7 basis, thoroughly shaming Liz Truss, who has hidden from the cameras wherever possible.

“Long live the lettuce!” beamed citizen, Hayley Rice.

“We’ve already had one absolute vegetable as Prime Minister, we might as well have a whirl with another one. I can’t imagine the lettuce being any less popular.”

The pound rallied against the dollar following the news, with economists already referring to the bounce as the “lettuce leap”, which is about as funny as economists get.

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“We look forward to welcoming the lettuce to Downing Street,” confirmed Simon Williams, a Downing Street spokesperson.

“We’ll have a few photo ops and policy meetings, but other than that I expect the lettuce will continue the long-standing Conservative tradition of hiding in a fridge.”

Hayley Rice responded, “See? Miles better. Rule Britannia.”