The secretive organisation funding opaque Tufton Street think tanks finally revealed to be the Ferengi

author avatar by 1 year ago

The free-market fundamentalists behind the shadowy organisations run from 55 Tufton Street have finally been revealed as the Ferengi.

The Ferengi have been funding organisations such as the Tax Payers Alliance and the Institute for Economic Affairs for years, in a covert attempt to turn the country into a free-market libertarian dreamland where the profit motive rules above all else.

The identity of the Ferengi was accidentally revealed when a member of the Tax Payers Alliance left behind a copy of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition following one of their many appearances on a high-profile national news broadcast.

Reporter Simon Williams told us, “We tried to get him to answer questions on the need for taxes to help balance a fragile economy, but the guy from the TPA just went on and on about how “money is everything” and that “greed is eternal”.

“It didn’t make a lot of sense until he left and we realised he’d left a book behind. Let me tell you, The Rules of Acquisition is quite the read, but the whole Tufton Street enterprise makes so much more sense when you realise it was the Ferengi funding it all along.”

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A spokesperson from the Tax Payers Alliance has denied the accusations, insisting they are under no obligation to identify their mysterious benefactors.

They told us, “Confidentiality equals profit – everyone knows that. We also recognise that the secret to profit is opportunity and instinct, and our instincts told us to seize the opportunity to back an easily manipulated bunch of lightweight politicians for personal profit. There is nothing wrong with that.

“After all, there is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.”