Brussels sprouts to be renamed London sprouts in latest display of post-Brexit sovereignty

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The UK government has announced a change to the name of a popular vegetable as its latest display of sovereignty now it is no longer under the yoke of the bureaucratic EU.

Under international trade rules, Brussels could and would ban the British from describing the brassica as being from Brussels in what is being seen as the opening salvo of a tit-for-tat trade war.

Energy minister and staunch supporter of all things ‘sovereignty’, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has been welcome to the change.

“This shows that leaving the EU has a tangible and immediate benefit to the British voter, who can now celebrate a more sovereign Christmas dinner.”

“Eating a Brussels sprout has always been about stuffing something deeply unpleasant down your throat in a misguided belief you’re doing the right thing.

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“So the relationship between Brussels sprouts and EU membership is clear.

“But London sprouts are an entirely different thing altogether. And we would suggest everyone start growing them in their gardens immediately. You know, just in case.”

Others within the government have hailed the announcement with James Cleverly describing sprouts as being as “British as fish and chips, Spag Bol and chicken Korma”.

Cleverly went on to paint a picture of a glorious post-Brexit future where British children could eat London sprouts whenever they wanted, unencumbered by Eurocrat red tape.

He spoke of a post-Brexit future where happy children in short trousers would skip to the corner shop and buy a bag of sprouts for a shiny ha’penny before eagerly devouring them on a sun-kissed, grassy hillside far from the horrors of Johnny Foreigner.

Meanwhile, the Dutch government have announced plans to restrict British access to orange carrots in, claiming that if the British wanted to see in the dark, they should have voted to remain.