It is understood that embattled Prime Minister Liz Truss will face her greatest humiliation for a couple of hours or so when she is forced to replace her Chancellor.
It comes in the wake of having to reverse her 45p tax cut, her trousers falling down and taking a cream pie to the face.
Ms Truss responded robustly to the prospect of ever greater humiliation.
“If there is one thing my few short months as Prime Minister has taught me,” she said, shortly after loudly breaking wind whilst there was a pause in the conversation.
“It’s how to handle a constant and unrelenting stream of abject humiliation on both domestic and foreign stages.”
Pausing briefly to wipe off the pigeon excrement that had just landed in her hair, Ms Truss waved to someone who she thought was waving at her but was actually waving at someone else, then got in her car which promptly let out a loud bang and cloud of smoke from the exhaust pipe before all four wheels fell off.
The Prime Minister will return to Parliament at some point today, shortly after standing on a series of rakes which cause the handles to whack her in the face repeatedly.