Environmentalists criticise the government for employing single-use Chancellors

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Green activists have criticised Liz Truss’ government for using disposable Chancellors which end up polluting the oceans.

In light of the ‘resignation’ of Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng just 38 days into the job, environmental campaigners have been vocal about the government’s deployment of non-renewable ministers.

“There’s no need for it in this day and age,” said campaigner Simon Williams. “Discarded Chancellors are one of the biggest threats to marine life.

“Thousands of animals have choked to death on the empty rhetoric of Nadhim Zahawi alone.

“Think of all the energy that’s wasted when a new Chancellor comes along, talks bollocks for a bit, demonstrates worrying levels of ignorance, and then ‘resigns’. Where do you think all that hot air is going?

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“No one even thinks of the emissions generated by single-use Chancellors.”

There have been suggestions that at the very least the Prime Minister should have to pay five pence each time she appoints a new Chancellor.

“It’s a nice idea in principle, but completely unworkable in practice,” said Liz Truss.

“I just know that I’ll turn up at a cabinet meeting or a G7 summit and I’ll have forgotten my Chancellor. The British economy is in enough trouble without me wasting all those 5ps.”

A ‘Chancellor for life’ scheme has also been suggested. However, most political analysts agree that this wouldn’t be a shrewd long-term investment given the fact that they’d probably fall apart when given the slightest tricky agenda item.