Liz Truss revealed to be cake

author avatar by 2 years ago

The Prime Minister has been revealed to be nothing but a humanoid construction of brightly-colours sponge and buttercream.

Have you ever thought there’s something a bit ‘off’ about Liz Truss? Have you ever wondered how an actual Prime Minister could be so clueless? Have you ever suspected that her skin is just icing and that her hair is a nest of caramelised sugar? 

If so, you’d have been right to wonder because Ms Truss has been revealed to be a big cake.

“I’m incredibly proud of my creation,” said Simon Williams, a baker from Swindon who specialises in illusion cakes.

“To have not only created a convincing human, but to have managed to get what is essentially an oversized rainbow sponge into the highest political office in the land, is a huge personal achievement.

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“Obviously the trick to maintaining the illusion is to ensure the cake avoids close scrutiny – that’s why I was happy to let it be interviewed by Laura Kuenssberg.

“I thought I might come a cropper with the local radio interviews, but I took a gamble on the basis that not being able to see the cake would prevent anyone from realising. Her answers were pretty damn cake-like but – somewhat unbelievably – everyone just assumed that the PM was incredibly thick. 

“A pretty damning indictment of our political system when you think about it.”

Has Simon hidden any other cakes in plain sight?

“Haha, well I had to get Nadine Dorries to resign after her head completely dried out and started crumbling off.

“I’ve learnt my lesson though – I’ve been keeping the Truss cake nice and moist with regular injections of milk and sugar syrup. That should keep it going until the next general election.”

Twatspotting #2 Liz Truss – get the mug here!

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