‘I think we’ve fucked it’ Liz Truss addresses cabinet

author avatar by 2 years ago

Liz Truss has met with her cabinet today and immediately pointed out that they may have actually fucked it completely in the short space of a month.

With news emerging this morning that the Bank of England has had to step in once again to try to clean up the government’s mess, ‘Prime Minister’ Liz Truss met with senior ministers earlier to inform them upon reflection, it now appears that they have indeed completely fucked everything up.

Emerging from the meeting earlier she confirmed, “Yep, we’ve fucked it. What can I say?

“I called a cabinet meeting earlier to speak with my senior ministers to discuss our progress so far, and our plans for the coming weeks.

“Unfortunately having considered all of our recent decisions and everything we have done since I became Prime Minister, it appears that we have actually fucked it completely.

“I mean it’s an absolute shit show, we have no idea what we are doing, and none of the sums add up.

“Obviously we need to continue to pretend that we know what we are doing and make some big announcements soon about how we will balance the books and help the British people.

“But to be honest with you, I’m fucked if I know what to do, and the chancellor is as clueless as me, we have no idea how we got the job – it’s hilarious.”

Asked if people’s pensions are safe we were told, “Doubt it. Like I said we’re fucked”

The Cabinet of Arseholes – the all-new Liz Truss edition!