Toryism is a gateway to fascism, warn drug users

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Young people who dabble in Toryism often end up becoming full-blown fascists, drug users have warned today.

With the announcement by Home Secretary Suella Braverman that she is considering upgrading cannabis to a Class A drug status, users of the drug have warned that Toryism presents a much greater threat to society.

Christopher James, a professor of politics, told us, “What begins with a bit of a laugh with friends at a party can spiral into something far more damaging.

“One minute you’re having a good old chuckle about Jeremy Corbyn and his proposal to introduce a national care service, and before you know where you are you are on TV bragging about a dream you had in which women and children who have barely survived a channel crossing are being loaded onto a plane and shipped off to a country with a dubious record on human rights.”

He continued, “And what starts off with a couple of casual conversations behind the bike sheds about how austerity actually benefitted the economy despite killing over three hundred thousand people, can easily lead to removing the right of the public to protest and discussions about the re-introduction of the death penalty.”

Conservative party spokesperson Sir Simon Williamsby-Toffer dismissed the warnings, telling reporters, “While there are some cases of Toryism leading to fascism, these are extremely rare, and there were probably other factors involved.

“Most Conservative Party members are able to enjoy a light bit of racism, homophobia and xenophobia at the weekend with friends without it getting too out of hand, after all.”

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