A Joy Division song, disappointingly, was found to contain neither happiness nor maths, leading to considerable confusion as to why the name ‘Joy Division’ was adopted.
“I definitely don’t feel like I understand the process of division any better and I’m certainly not feeling particularly joyful. If anything, the opposite.”
“This is definitely not what I expected,” explained Eleanor Gay, a performance welder from Chelmsford.
“I mean, when I put on this Joy Division song, I was hoping for something quite cheerful and if it gave me a solid grounding in basic mathematic concepts then that would have been a boon but, frankly, it turned out to be something quite grim about hugging a statue.
“I definitely don’t feel like I understand the process of division any better, and I’m certainly not feeling particularly joyful. If anything, quite the opposite.”
Ms Gay has made an official complaint about the confusing nature of the name Joy Division. Simon Williams is a representative for the group.
“I’d like to apologise to Ms Gay for her experience with the Joy Division song In A Lonely Place. Whilst I can appreciate that it may not have been quite what she was expecting, Joy Division have certainly never made any claim to either make people happy or to improve their math skills.
“I would recommend Ms Gay takes a less literal approach to pop band names, or she may continue to find herself disappointed when listening to the Doors, which won’t let you in or out of a house, Def Leppard, which comprises of no big cats, hearing-impaired or otherwise, and definitely stay away from Nine Inch Nails, who would be entirely unsuitable for affixing one piece of wood to another.