Man installs fake thermostat to let family think they’re putting the heating on

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A man has installed a fake thermostat in the hall of his three-bed semi in the hope it will prevent his wife and children putting the heating on any time they ‘feel a bit chilly’.

Simon Williams, 42, is blessed with a loving family who, unfortunately, tend to prefer summer-style balmy indoor temperatures the very second autumn properly arrives.

Williams told us, “You would think ‘put a jumper on’ is a perfectly reasonable request to make in an energy crisis, but no. Such is their reluctance to wear an extra layer when the indoor temperature drops slightly, you could be forgiven for thinking that wearing a jumper indoors is against their religion.

“I have tried – on multiple occasions – to explain to them that 18 degrees Celcius is actually a perfectly healthy indoor temperature for normal, appropriately dressed people – but no, they insist that wearing shorts all year round is more important than me being able to pay the bills at the end of the month.

“If the temperature in the house doesn’t begin with a ‘2’ then apparently I’m ‘treating them like prisoners of war’.

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“So yea, I put in a fake thermostat. But ‘fake’ is such a negative word, so instead I’m calling it the placebo thermostat. There is lots of positive evidence for the placebo effect, so now they can tweak the thermostat however they like, they can turn it up to 25 degrees and a few minutes later it will tell them it’s 25 degrees; but the boiler will stay off, just how I like it.

“I’m not being cruel. It’s proven medical science. Yes it is, shut up.”