Elon Musk confirms Twitter purchase to his 107m followers, including almost two hundred actual humans

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Elon Musk has confirmed today that he will now be purchasing Twitter by revealing the news to his massive 107m followers, which includes almost two hundred actual human beings.

With news emerging last night that the richest man in the universe has once again agreed to buy the social media platform for his original price of fucking billions of dollars, part alien entrepreneur Musk immediately took to Twitter to inform his millions of followers about the deal, some of which have a human brain.

Commenting on the news Twitter robot s!m0n234654 W1ll!ams9569 told us “I Couldn’t give a shit if I’m honest, I’m a bot.

“I saw the news earlier about some guy I have been programmed to follow buying Twitter or something and immediately gave it a like, because that’s what I am programmed to do.

“But I have no idea what it actually means in real terms, because, again, I am a bot, and have no actual brain.

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“I just know that whenever this guy says something I must retweet and like it so it looks like he has millions of real followers and then advertisers pay real people lots of money, or something.”

Asked if he follows any other people on Twitter as part of his job of being a robot he told us, “Yeah, shit loads. I never bloody stop liking stuff, I’m knackered.”