Liz Truss wakes up in the shower

author avatar by 6 months ago

Britain’s long-standing soap opera, The Conservative Party, once again stunned audiences with a surreal plot twist whereupon leading character Liz Truss suddenly woke up and realised the previous two disastrous weeks were nothing but a vivid dream.

In last night’s episode, Liz Truss (played by a heavily made-up Lewis Capaldi) snapped out of a daze while taking a shower and sighed with relief as the horrifying week, where she tanked the British economy with a cretinous blunder, revealed itself to be just a nightmare.

However, some critics say the episode was symptomatic of lazy writing and that The Conservative Party has not had a fresh plot in years, instead relying on increasingly cartoonish stereotypes. Something that TCP staff writer Simon Williams did not deny.

He went on, “Look, some story arcs have their ending built in, like the Boris era. It was clear once we introduced such an odious cunt that he would end ignominiously.

“But sometimes, you write yourself into a corner. Once we filmed the Budget Clusterfuck episode we quickly saw we could only get a couple of days of drama out of it and then it was just dragging pathetically on with no hope of improvement making everyone depressed. Like a televised Eastbourne. So we bit the bullet and pulled a Bobby.”

Mr Williams said he wasn’t worried about the latest ratings survey that suggested the public had grown tired of TCP.

“We’ve heard that for years. People love to pretend they are all intellectual and they’re going to switch to that Red Flag show.

“But after a couple of weeks of dull sensible people talking about complex policies, the punters always come back to the backstabbing snake-pit of adulterous drunks they love to hate and hate to love.”

The Cabinet of Arseholes – Liz Truss edition!