Liz Truss announces plans to return to the feudal system

author avatar by 2 years ago

Comedy Prime Minister Liz Truss has announced plans to build on her recent economic reforms and return Britain to the feudal system last seen in the middle-ages.

“Feudalism is exactly what we need to get Britain back on its feet after the imaginary Labour government that only exists in my head ruined everything,” said Ms Truss.

A feudalist pilot will be introduced in Chelmsford, Essex. Surrounding villages and towns will be converted into simple farmland. Everyone will officially become peasants and work the land in exchange for a tax paid to the Lord and an obligation to be levied into a local Chelmsford regiment should foreign powers threaten the King.

Tory supporters, who by now must be so far gone that there’s no way back for them, were obviously in favour of the new plans.

“Feudalism is exactly the sort of bold new strategy that’s needed to get Britain out of the mess caused by a series of events that have absolutely nothing to do with the Government of the last twelve years,” said Simon Williams, an unemployed sewage-taster from Bootle.

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“A little bit more deference to the local lord and some deft hoe-work and Britain will once again lead the world. God save the King!”

It is expected the new Tory feudal experiment will last until next Tuesday when it will be abandoned in favour of a brand-new insane plan conceived by a Prime Minister who would be out of her depth in a puddle.

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