Friday 23 September 2022 by Chris Ballard

Next episode of Frozen Planet to focus on the hearts of Tory ministers


frozen wasteland in the chest cavity of Tory ministers

The hit BBC series Frozen Planet is about to tackle its chilliest subject yet – the ice-cold hearts of the Conservative government.

You probably associate Frozen Planet with David Attenborough narrating the fascinating lives of penguins and polar bears. Although its depictions of nature are often realistic and cruel, the programme is about to get a lot darker.

“We didn’t cover the Tories in series one because we thought it would put viewers off,” said Producer Simon Williams.

“But we can’t really claim to be the definitive documentary about the planet’s frozen wastelands if we didn’t take a look at the heart and soul of the average Conservative cabinet minister.

“Obviously Sir David couldn’t go near any of the subjects himself – at his age he’s extremely susceptible to hypothermia and the merest icy glance from a climate change-denying Energy Secretary could be the end of him.

“But the episode will cover the very coldest attitudes of the Conservatives – from the attempted murder of migrants and the demonisation of benefit claimants, to the shocking indifference to the plight of starving children and the obliteration of the arts.”

A Downing Street spokesman said, “If the Prime Minister was capable of forming coherent sentences, she would say that it’s extremely pleasing the woke BBC is finally covering a sensible subject which reflects the principles and beliefs of the hard-working majority.”

‘Frozen Planet: Tory Hearts’ will air on BBC One this Sunday at the slightly later time of 9pm due to its disturbing content.

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