‘On my first day in office I reclassified everything you took, just by thinking about it’, President Biden tells Trump

Donald Trump’s insistence that Presidents can change the classification status of documents just by thinking about it, has spectacularly backfired today.

Trump told Fox News light entertainer Sean Hannity that he hadn’t taken any classified documents to his home in Mar-a-Lago because he had thought about declassifying them, and that, apparently, is all you have to do when you’re the President and dealing with top secret documentation that includes nuclear secrets of some of the United States’s closest allies.

However, in a move that will no doubt shock Trump supporters everywhere, President Biden later told reporters, “I reclassified everything on the day I took office, so checkmate, Dodgy Don.”

A White House spokesperson later went on, “The President ‘thought’ about classifying everything that the previous President had removed from the White House, and as such, they were immediately and irrevocably deemed classified materials. Until such time as another serving President thinks about them, obviously.

“But at the time he took them, all of those documents were 100% classified – and all thanks to the loophole identified by Trump himself.

“We are grateful to former President Trump for allowing us this opportunity to prove, beyond all doubt, that he illegally took classified materials to his private residence.

“And if he’s worried about the nation’s prison system, and how he will get on inside, don’t worry, Hillary says you can have the cell you were keeping warm for her.”

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