A keen Brexiter has once again insisted that a US trade deal will make Brexit worthwhile, despite all reasonable-minded people being completely confident it won’t be happening any time soon.
Simon Williams, 46, has been a keen supporter of Brexit since before the 2015 general election, and has continued to loudly beat the drum regarding a US trade deal being one of the significant benefits of leaving the EU.
However, as the years have continued to pass, and that time has proven right everyone who repeatedly told him it would not happen quickly, and not at all until the question of the post-Brexit Irish border was resolved to the satisfaction of both sides, Williams still clings to his Brexit ‘fantasy’.
“When they say there are no negotiations even happening yet, that’s just a negotiating position,” insisted Williams to one of the handful of people alive who still believe he’s right about this issue.
“Behind closed doors, I am quite sure they are close to striking a deal to supply us with all the chlorinated chicken we need to really super-charge our economy.
“Donald Trump told Michael Gove back in 2017 that we’d get a really quick trade deal, and that is a man known for keeping his word, so it’s definitely going to happen. Soon, very soon.”
Meanwhile, non-morons have greeted Williams’ position with a resigned shrug, with one telling us, “There was a time when I’d want to argue the point with him, but there seems little advantage in doing so these days.
“Those of us who said a US trade deal would take years, if not decades, have already been proven correct, whether he believes it, or not.
“And don’t get him started on Ireland, he can’t seem to get his head around the fact it’s an important issue to the US, given the number of voters and law-makers who identify with their Irish heritage – there will be NO US trade deal until the issue of the Irish border after Brexit is 100% resolved, and both sides are happy with it. It’s simply not going to happen.
“So while Brexiters keep on kicking the Irish problem down the road, they are equally kicking the US trade deal down the road, too.
“They are like that toddler who keeps bending over to pick up the ball, but who accidentally kicks it out of reach with their toes as they get close to it.
“Only it’s not that cute when it’s being done by a man in his forties.”