“Can we go back to broadcasting Bargain Hunt and all that other shite now?” ask exhausted BBC producers

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The BBC has politely asked today if it’s okay to stick old episodes of Bargain Hunt and all that shite back on, now that we’ve all finished being sad. 

With literally every hour of every day for the last ten days devoted to the Queen, exhausted producers have just about managed to get out of bed today to press play on anything they have pre-recorded and don’t have to continually commentate on with a sad voice. 

Producer Simon Williams told us, “Homes under the Hammer here we come!

“Thank God for that, we are absolutely exhausted. This has been the longest shift of my life, having to constantly do live TV for the last ten days.

“And we’ve done it without being able to shove any old shite on throughout the day whenever we needed a break, or so that we could kick back and have a nice little rest.

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“I mean we’ve got old episodes of Escape to the Country just waiting to be aired, and where we don’t have to do a thing, because we made it over two years ago.

“Along with Doctors and Pointless and all kinds of crap that we are allowed to put back on all day long for people to stare at.”

Asked who will be presenting the evening news later for an update on everything else we were told, “Shall we ask Huw Edwards to come in again, just for a laugh?”