Thursday 15 September 2022

Mermaids can’t be black insists man whose all-time favourite story stars a middle-eastern man with fair hair and blue eyes


old man unhappy at Jesus depiction

A man has today insisted that Mermaids can not be black because they live in the sea, despite his own personal favourite story starring a middle-eastern man with fair hair, blue eyes and movie-star looks.

Chuck Williams, 50, believes Disney is rewriting history by casting a black Ariel in the live-action remake of Little Mermaid, seemingly unaware that mermaids aren’t real and so their existence isn’t documented in any history books.

Williams went on, “I don’t care what anyone says, mermaids are white. Clearly. Look at all the reference material. The Little Mermaid cartoon – a white redhead. Splash – a smoking hot white blond.

“Okay, I’ll grant you, the Little Mermaid statue in Copenhagen looks a little black, but that’s only because it was cast in bronze. Marble was probably too expensive at the time.

“My point is that this recasting of great characters to change their skin colour has to end. I don’t know how anyone can take any story seriously when the main character CLEARLY doesn’t look like they belong in the setting.”

Williams was then asked to look at a photo of a group of native middle-eastern men, and the picture of Jesus his mother used to hang over the mantlepiece that makes him look like a Hollywood icon.

After a few minutes, Williams asked, “What’s your point? That middle-eastern men have become a lot darker over the last two-thousand years? That makes perfect sense if you think about it, they clearly need Jesus in their lives then they could become lighter again.”

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