Thursday 15 September 2022 by Neil Tollfree

May 2049: Country at standstill. 39 million people in The Queue. Now stretches to Carlisle


The Queue is all there is

May 2049: the country is at a standstill with nearly two-thirds of the working population now in The Queue.

The Queue began in 2022, the reason for it quickly forgotten. Within a week, The Queue stretched eleven miles, almost into Essex. It was the longest queue in history.

Fuelled by patriotic fervour to celebrate Great Britain finally finding something it could do better than any other country, more and more people joined The Queue.

“I’m just here to support The Queue,” explained a man called Simon Williams who had been in The Queue so long he’d forgotten what he did for a living.

“I’m not sure you can really call yourself properly British unless you’re actually in The Queue. I know there are some people who aren’t in The Queue and, frankly, I think they’re all sub-human pieces of shit.”

Whilst everyone celebrates and would never question The Queue, it has proven impossible to form a government due to all politicians having to be in The Queue at all times. This means that the country is at a standstill, there are no services operating, the NHS stopped working years ago,  the economy has collapsed, and the only viable businesses are those that exist to service The Queue. 

But that’s all okay. That’s fine. We have The Queue, and that’s what makes Britain great.

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