Thursday 15 September 2022

Man totally willing to suspend disbelief for the story of a half-woman half-fish as long as the top half isn’t black


Man unhappy with Little Mermaid

A man has today expressed his outrage that a mermaid could have black skin.

As a new trailer for the live-action Disney classic, Litte Mermaid, was released, grown men had decided to get cross about it because all mermaids have white skin and red hair.

Simon Williams, 45, is suitably distressed by the casting choices in a children’s film. He told us, “These films need to have at least a foot based in reality, and how is a black mermaid in any way realistic? Everyone knows mermaids are curvy and white with red hair, or smoking hot blondes like in Splash.

“I am completely comfortable with the idea of the skin on her legs turning into fish scales when they get wet, but I simply can’t get my head around that skin being black when it gets dry again. How is that even possible? Fish scales ALWAYS turn into white skin.

Williams is the latest in a long line of grown men getting cross about children’s entertainment because it’s not exactly the same as it was over thirty years ago.

Williams went on, “Why do they have to keep changing EVERYTHING?

“It’s corrupting our children. What hope do they have in this world if we keep ruining everything? We should leave everything exactly as it was, so they can all grow up to be perfectly normal, well-rounded individuals like me.

“What?”

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