Tuesday 13 September 2022 by Pete Redfern

“Well that ride sucked,” says bitterly disappointed child after queueing for two hours just to look at a box


disappointed boy stood in queue to see Queen

A nine-year-old boy has expressed his annoyance at having to queue for two hours just to walk past a box that had been draped in a flag.

“Mum woke us up at 5 o’clock this morning, which normally means something exciting is going to happen,” Jake Williams from Glasgow told us despondently. 

“After all, the last time she woke us up that early on a school day was to fly to Disneyland, and the time before that was for a day trip to Alton Towers.”

He went on, “And on both of those occasions, we also spent a lot of the day standing in slow-moving queues of hundreds of people, which was fine, as there was a go on Crush’s Coaster, Oblivion or Nemesis at the end of it.

“But today? All that queueing and then… nothing. Just a box with four people dressed up as fancy soldiers standing around it.

“Are all the theme parks in Scotland this crap?”

Jake’s mother, Denise, apologised for her son’s outburst, telling us, “I know he didn’t appreciate the experience fully; hopefully he’ll understand the significance of it more when he’s older.

“We will tell him that he was extremely lucky and privileged to be given the opportunity to do something that millions wish they could have done – walk within eight feet of the corpse of a ninety-six-year-old lady that he’s never met.”

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