Friday 9 September 2022 by Davywavy

Relief as Queen unexpectedly appoints Larry the Cat as next in line to the throne


Larry the Cat

Following the tragic death of Her Majesty the Queen, Buckingham Palace has confirmed she rewrote protocol to promote Larry the Cat to next in line to the throne – above Prince Charles.

Larry, who was recently voted ‘best Prime Minister we never had’ is seen as a safe pair of paws to pick up the Monarchy as he’s cute, the public like him, and he’s had his trip to the vets so we’re not going to be getting any embarrassing phone calls released.

Britain has breathed a slow, quiet sign of relief at the news.

“Clearly her Majesty wanted to leave Britain as well-managed as she could, even though she knew he own time was nearly up”, said Royal Correspondent Simon Prince-Williams.

“Britain is about to go through yet more bloody turmoil and people will need a figurehead they can relate to, and Prince Charles fiddling with his cuffs and pontificating about broccoli isn’t it.

“Instead a fluffy little menace who likes his tummy tickled and has substantial experience of being the smartest person in the room at the highest level of government seems to her to be the best fit for the job.”

Sources speculate that Larry has only accepted the role because only the monarch is allowed to eat swans and he’s been wanting a shot at the ones in St James Park for years.

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