Monday 5 September 2022

Edwina Currie reveals home makeover to combat rising energy prices


foil covered front room

Former government minister and egg fan Edwina Currie has this morning unveiled her home makeover designed to combat rising energy prices.

Appearing on Good Morning Britain, Currie explained that everyone at home can mitigate the effects of the energy prices more than doubling by simply wrapping everything they own in tinfoil.

“It reflects the heat back into the room; it’s just basic science,” explained Currie to a grateful nation of people terrified to put the heating on.

“I started by putting a bit of foil behind the radiator, but then I put a bit on the walls, then over the coffee table, and then over the sofa. And because of science, this means I can light a single match in the middle of the room and suddenly the entire house leaps up to a temperature of 25 degrees. It’s almost like magic.

“And if you can’t afford a few extra rolls of tin foil in your weekly shopping, don’t worry. It never did previous generations any harm to not have central heating in the cold winters, and the ones who survived actually look back quite fondly on those days. So if you survive, you will too.

“Probably. I mean, I grew up firmly middle class so energy poverty wasn’t much of an issue for me.”

Meanwhile, non-morons have asked that maybe we could ask the government to step in and take some positive action on energy prices, rather than relying on 75-year-old long-retired ministers making policy based on old wives’ tales.

Previous post:

Next post: