Wednesday 31 August 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Man who fantasises about being rich impressed by Liz Truss tax cut plans


Man on the bus going to vote Tory

A man who regularly imagines what it would be like if he was really rich is impressed by leadership hopeful Liz Truss’s plans for tax cuts.

“I was waiting for the bus this morning, and imagining being Jeff Bezos or someone, and running this massive company and going wave-boarding and everything,” explained Simon Williams, a shoe shop assistant manager.

“It must be brilliant. I’d really love to be rich, and I guess that’s why I’ll probably vote for Liz Truss if there’s an election because, if I was someone like Jeff Bezos then those tax cuts would be amazing. I’d save so much money, and then I’d be able to spend even more money and go on holiday to Florida and everything.”

Mr Williams went on to explain that he doesn’t just fantasize about being a wealthy businessman.

“Sometimes, when I’m sorting the weekly shoe delivery, I think about what it must be like to win the lottery and suddenly become a millionaire and everything. I’d probably buy MegaShoe and sack Mr Willis and promote Tiffany to be manager.

“Again, those Liz Truss plans to cut taxes would be brilliant for me because I’d be able to take away more of the profit from MegaShoe, and maybe even buy another branch of MegaShoe and still not let Mr Willis be manager.”

He has estimated how much the Liz Truss tax cuts would save him personally.

“About 64p a week. But, you know, sometimes I think about what it would be like if I were a famous popstar, and those tax cuts would be really great.”

“I voted Tory for a kinder, fairer society for all,” said no-one ever

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