Tuesday 30 August 2022 by Neil Tollfree

“And when we used to have a Prime Minister, they lived here,” says Downing Street tour guide


Downing Street

A Downing Street tour guide has explained to incredulous tourists that Britain once used to have a Prime Minister, and they lived in Downing Street.

“It was fascinating to hear the story of how Britain once had a Prime Minister,” said tourist Simon Williams.

“The guide explained that this Downing Street, this really quite ordinary looking house, that once upon a time there was some one who lived here who actually ran the country. It’s amazing to think, it really is.”

Eleanor Gay has been giving a Downing Street tour for years now, but was forced to alter it when the British Prime Minister stopped turning up for work.

“People are pretty blown away when I tell them that Britain used to have a Prime Minister living here who made sure that all of the country worked properly and power costs didn’t become prohibitively expensive or loads of shit didn’t just get pumped into the sea,” she explained.

“I try and get over a sense of what it was like to live in Britain when it wasn’t a complete basketcase but a well-respected country with a serious and sober individual in charge. Most people think I’m exaggerating, but everything I tell them is true.”

Ms Gay hasn’t been able to confirm what Downing Street is used for since the Prime Minister stopped turning up for work, but has heard rumours.

“I believe it’s now used by an associate of some Russian oligarchs who just throws a party every once in a while to have a laugh at the expense of the British people.”

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