Thursday 25 August 2022 by Davywavy

Heavy rains herald beginning of the hosepipe ban


heavy rain

As hosepipe bans come into force across Britain, nature has decided to properly take the piss.

Banks of rain are moving slowly and with grim purpose across the country, demonstrating the futility of the traditional attempt to save token amounts of water at the end of summer.

After months of parched gardens, and proud gardeners staring up at a clear blue cloudless sky shouting ‘Whyyyy?’, nature has decided to add insult to injury.

“It’s bloody ironic,” said green-fingered horticulturalist Simon Williams as he watched water streaming down the window.

“And not in a terrible, twee Alanis Morrissette rain on your wedding day sort of way. More in a ‘you’ve got to be yanking my chain’ sort of way.”

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