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The Tory press has been excoriating the lack of decorum of ‘the militant wokiestas’ after Boris Johnson was booed while he decided to take a slash on the grave of your Nan who was killed by his ineptitude before wiping his cock on reports of how you’re going to starve this winter.
Simon Williams, a Daily Mail columnist and the first man in Britain to be banned from coming too close to both mosques and secondary schools, explained that to make your feeling clear in a nonviolent way to a callous buffoon who has ruined your life was “worse than the Nazis.”
He went on, “This is what the so-called Liberal elites are like behind their facade of soy frappuccinos and specific terms that I am too lazy to look up.
“Calling someone a fat ponce when they are clearly enjoying the misfortune they caused millions is exactly what the Stasi did. So is any kind of vocal demonstration that you think he is anything other than a God amongst men.
“But we can’t be cowed by trans communists heckling callous politicians. We will hold fast the great British position of being meek and unquestionably subservient to people in authority. That’s the kind of British mettle that faced down Hitler!”
Conservative-friendly tabloids were the first to rush to the defence of the PM and his eccentric toilet habits but the incident also impact the Tory leadership campaign.
Underdog Rishi Sunak responded to the news with some boring waffle about RPI and long term bonds.
However, frontrunner Liz Truss immediately stated she would pass a British Freedoms Bill criminalising the use of amusing insults towards political leaders, listening to anything made after Now 41, pink hair, lowering house prices and beating your dad at tennis.
