Friday 12 August 2022 by Spacey

Kent man forced to travel to kitchen in search of water


Man makes arduous journey to the kitchen for water

With drought now officially being declared in several regions of the UK, a man from the already drought affected south east county of Kent has told how he had to make an arduous journey over several metres of carpet and laminate flooring in search of water.

32-year-old Simon Williams from Sittingbourne, made the gruelling trek in the early hours of this morning after waking up with severe dehydration following an evening in which he drank an unspecified amount of lager.

“I woke up at about 3am,” revealed Mr Williams.

“I desperately needed water, but the kitchen seemed so very far away.”

After finding out that lying in bed and imagining drinking water wouldn’t be enough to quench his thirst, Mr Williams realised he had no choice but to embark on the epic journey.

“I crawled to the landing only to be confronted with a sharp descent down a mountainous staircase,” he recalled

“It was so far down.

“Something inside me told me that going down head first would be disastrous, so I tried to get to my feet.”

“Try as I might to stand up I could only just manage to sit up.”

With tears in his eyes, Mr Williams recounted how he lowered himself down the stairs one step at a time, and explained the feeling of joy that overwhelmed him as he caught sight of the kitchen across the dining room.

“I knew my journey wasn’t over, but the psychological boost of seeing the kitchen sink taps sparkling in the moonlight spurred me on.

“Using every ounce of strength that I had I hauled myself across the dining room floor and into the kitchen.

“Exhausted, I lost consciousness for a while, but came to shortly afterwards with my head in the dog’s basket.

“I pulled myself up to the sink and triumphantly gulped water from the tap.

“I made it this time, but next time I might not be so lucky.”

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