Confused Liz Truss declares war on Woking

author avatar by 2 years ago

Prime Ministerial hopeful Liz Truss has doubled-down on her culture war platform by declaring a war on Woking this afternoon.

Describing ‘Woking Culture’ as all that is worst about a twisted and awful ideological view of the world, Liz left her audience uncertain whether she meant the town or was just getting her cue cards wrong, as frankly it could quite easily be either.

Things weren’t helped when a journalist in the audience asked if she meant ‘woke’ or Woking’, to which her eyes pointed in different directions and she just said ‘Yes’.

“I’m pledging to crack down on Woking, including making sure the Civil Service stop any training there,” she promised.

“And I hear awful things about what their Pizza Express is used for so we’ll put a stop to that too.”

Upon being told of the latest initiative from his rival, Rishi Sunak was quick to ridicule her for the mistake and instead insisted he would clamp down hard on Wakefield.

Thick Lizzy – get the NEW mug here!