Monday 8 August 2022 by Pete Redfern

How about blessing the rains down in England, population asks Toto


UK drought

With much of England having seen record low rainfall over the last couple of months, and with another mini heatwave on the way, many citizens have called upon American soft rock band Toto to intervene.

Reading resident Christopher James told us, “The situation is getting desperate. I don’t know about wild dogs crying out in the night, but if my hydrangeas could talk they’d be saying that they are in serious need of some precipitation.

“We’ve only had a couple of centimetres of rain since May, and I’m pretty sure that even the Serengeti gets more action than that.”

He added, “As sure as the Oracle shopping centre rises like Olympus above Reading’s Inner Distribution Road, I seek to water my plants.

“I don’t need something that a hundred men or more could ever do, I’d just like a nice downpour, or maybe a longer hosepipe.

“All I’m asking is that some blessing here might be good, you know?”

With an updated weather forecast indicating zero rain for at least another week, Toto have refused to issue a statement on whether they might be willing to help UK residents in their hour of need.

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